Well I cannot welcome in May without a mention of these.
I am a rich guy that uses Jameson whiskey to brush my teeth and uses Red Lable whiskey to wash my face (I know you are now wondering how rich I am, yah am rich of words )
It is April 30th 2017 ,now it’s end month, I am woken up by my vibrating phone mistaking it for an alarm I get pissed off and knock it on the table next to my bed cursing who the hell on earth made time ,the phone refuses to stop vibrating. I open my right eye and looks at it lazily, it’s my friend Mathius.
I take the phone and answer it, he tells me that he has woken up and he cannot find his wallet.
My mind now starts recollecting on the movie scenes we created with our silly actions yesternight after few bottles of T brew. We got in the club singing “leo nataka kulewa niletewe ambulance” translation “today I want to get drunk I need an ambulance”
Mathius eyes were circulating at 360 degrees all over the pub looking for any cute lady to stalk considering him a strong active member of the Mafisi Sacco which I recently graduated from.
After we had two bottles of T brew , Mathius eyes were as red as a monkey’s ass , the waitress was light skinned and she was wearing a dull black t-shirt written “don’t drink and drive” he started smiling to himself ( That’s Mathius not me) he asked me if the waitress was Huddah Monroe, I nodded my head so as not to argue with him considering that he was a chap who liked arguing and on the point of arguing, there was this day that we were arguing about Wahu, Mathius was claiming that Wahu was JayZ’s wife, I tried explaining but ………….
Ok coming back to where we were, Mathius started hitting on the waitress believing that she was Huddah .We danced until around 1 or 2 am, am not sure what time it was.
We decided to head back home, we were walking in stagger motions that you would think that we were dancing to Michael Jackson’s thriller song. I left Mathius on the junction as I headed to my house. On arrival I found the gate closed, I looked around to see if I could get any stone within my vicinity and surely I got one, I picked it and hit the gate. The landlord was the one who opened the gate, he looked at me with his big ugly eyes, I started singing “bank otuch,pesa otas niggah” he asked me not to make noise and I shot back at him "Do you know who I am, idio... t"
“Tobbey man I can’t find my wallet” Mathius asks me in a disturbed voice.
“Are you sure you never left it for your huddah?” I ask him,I decide to head to his house considering that it was a few meters from my house,I put on my vest and sandals and head to his house. We talk for few minutes and he asks for a loan from me. Am only having 500 bob remaining but considering him a buddy, I tell him to let me go back home and pick my wallet and change my clothes and I come back.
On arrival I find my door locked with a huge rusty tri-cycle lock, “I have not paid the rent for the last two months” I decide to go to the landlord’s house but on reaching his door I remember that yesternight I was singing “bank otuch, pesa otas nigger” I am doomed.
I go to mathius’ house to wait for dark to dawn so as to go and sweet talk the landlord to allow me in the house.
At exactly 10;30 pm I head back to the plot and knocks on the landlord’s door, he comes out , I start pleading with him in low tone not to make any noice for other tenants .(hapo ndo ile time majirani wanajipeanga mashughuli hakuna, unapata ametoka njee saa tano ya usiku kuosha drisha)
Bruh it's all about me...
ReplyDeleteHaha......keep that day in memory
DeleteGreat stuff
ReplyDelete