THE KIND OF LIFE I HATE

There are things that I really hate, in as much as I hate Donald Trump’s hair there are things that I do hate than that. STEALING, it’s not that I have never stolen, in fact I have stolen a number of times. A while back in high school, it was on visiting day and my dad as usual was never going to arrive and if he happened to arrive then it will be a saint Luke’s gospel miracle. I was sited looking and admiring pitifully with tears almost rolling out on my cheeks at people who were enjoying the home delicacies. “Hey, a little help here,” a form one parent called me, I ran as if I was escaping an Ebola attack, she needed me to help his son carry the remains of what they had had, voice 1……Damn it, they can’t even see that am almost collapsing and nyenyenye sijui help my son carry the food, voice 2……you are smarter than this, think of a plan. Did you know that the craziest ideas a man gets is when he is hungry! (or is it only me who gets them?)


I played the good boy I was and escorted the confused fellow to the dormitory, the fellow trusted me and even gave me a spare key, during night preps, I crawled like a beggar whose ass had been set on fire and went back to the dormitory, having watched lots of CSI movies, I removed my gloves(not to leave any trace just in case) and wore them and took out the key the confused fellow( I feel like calling him Miguna Miguna) had given me, on opening the rusty metallic box, the pilau aroma made me laugh that you would have thought that I was high on weed or something. I took the bowl and emptied in my basin like plate and ‘lefted’’. After a heavy feast on the Swahili dish, I went back to class, after night preps I knew that I had not to go back to the dormitory so I took out my favorite novel “HOW TO BECOME STUPID’’ and started reading it. Few minutes later the form one came in crying like a baby explaining to me how his food and blue band were missing. That blue band haunts me up to date. (that’s why I stopped taking blue band to avoid my celestial God from remembering that funny sin I did, I don’t want him to start laughing anyhow making Nechabudenezzar think that he is high on some witty weed spell)


The next thing I hate, I have mentioned it in every article I have ever written, when drunk, when farting, when high on weed (which I swore to never ever touch again, I fear this thing the way sonko fears English, the last time I had an interaction with it, it left me more confused than Sonko , better him that says “I have two daughters who are all girls or Nairobi is full of orphans who lack parents” the things I said cannot even be recognized with a third generation oxford dictionary) I hate PAYING EXTRA FARE for those ladies whose faces are filled with tones of make ups that you would think that they are agents of Peter Marangi ……guess you know who he is………The conductor comes and start collecting fare, on reaching her, she looks at me with the ugliest smile I have ever seen , I think Oriago Manduli smiles better than her, in my pocket I am only having 152 shillings and after paying my fare I will be 102 shillings richer,I reply her with a talking smile that seems to be telling her “CANT PAY , WONT PAY” so I pay my fare and looks right straight out the window….shiiit! HAWKERS, he is at the window, looking at me with his red eyes, redder than a monkey’s ass, I hate them, one time they sold me yoghurt, I drank it only to come and realize that the yoghurt had expired 2 months ago.


I hate you, for only one thing, I hate you for not following our blog. After reading this just click home and at the top right corner you will see an option button in a square shape, click it , and hit follow,simple as that and at the bottom of this post tell us how you feel.